tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8197242670457696852024-03-13T21:05:46.576-07:00Tea and Secrets"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." -John LennonTrinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-23371992288553400752010-01-11T11:15:00.000-08:002010-01-11T11:31:12.935-08:00House buyingOne thing I learned during the whole infertility process is not to live as if you are going to get pregnant.<br />So... A and I are considering buying a 2-bedroom house even though we really want a 3-bedroom. It's in a good location and has all the other features we want, and we three bedrooms for two people is really a luxury, even though it would be handy when we have guests.<br />But we are also planning to try IVF for the first time this spring. Does that make buying a 2-bedroom house foolish?Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-78654847147364699312009-01-27T10:35:00.000-08:002009-01-27T14:32:34.645-08:00Signing offI am no longer updating this blog. As I move on with my life, infertility is less and less often in my thoughts. Other activities which occupy my time - training for a triathlon, cooking, practicing violin, skiing - aren’t of interest to you. <br /><br />A. may want to pursue more medical options, but I am not sure I am willing to go there. Although there are many options which we haven’t pursued, 30 months of failure when I stopped counting, each month more depressed and emotional, the personal cost is just too high. Even trying to investigate potential health problems- excess estrogen/weak thyroid/low vitamin D/stress/acne- is really just another means of exploring fertility issues, and brings me back into the hope/despair cycle again.<br /><br />When we are doing fun exciting things for the first time is when I most regret not having children. It would be so wonderful to expose them to these experiences and see their joy. But childfree living is also a blessing - less work and worry, and more freedom and money for ourselves. I think a child of ours would have had a great life, and it is the universe’s loss that it isn’t going to happen.<br /><br />I read some of your blogs recently for the first time in many months, and was happy to see that you all are doing well- new jobs, moving, adopting, etc. Thank you for your support. I will keep dropping in from time to time to see how you work out your lives. Best wishes for making the right choices and finding happiness!Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-79767211357343147052008-11-11T23:34:00.000-08:002008-12-05T13:36:17.958-08:00FitnessWhen my sister was seeing an alternative doctor for detox after her chemo, he gave her all sorts of tests, but one was an estrogen test. He said there are two types of estrogen- good and bad- and you can decrease the bad estrogen by getting more exercise. Since endometriosis is associated with excess estrogen too, I wondered if I would also benefit by increased exercise. <br /><br />It is so hard to drag myself to the (outdoor) swimming pool when it is windy and 50 degrees, and nearly impossible to look forward to my 45-minute bike commute, but I am ALWAYS glad I did it afterwards. Another tip that helps too- every four weeks allow yourself to slack off a little. <br /><br />Exercise decreases stress and depression, and losing six pounds of infertility treatment weight helps with the self-image. Things are going well!Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-33269838488157817022008-11-11T23:21:00.000-08:002008-11-11T23:49:55.835-08:00HalloweenLast Halloween, I turned off all the lights and hid in the back of the house, ignoring every time the doorbell rang. Halloween itself wasn’t the problem- people were the problem. I had just finished the seventh and last failed IUI cycle and I was so unhappy and grumpy that I secretly referred to myself as the Grinch. Many times I wondered if I would make it through the day at work without walking out.<br /><br />This year, there were a lot of kids in our neighborhood, but most didn't notice our front door, hidden in the back. A. thought the party favors that I was giving out instead of candy were lame, and he suggested we go out to a Japanese restaurant instead. That is a treat because sushi breaks our budget for eating out, but I have an insatiable craving for tempura, so he knew I would agree. Also, you aren't supposed to eat sushi while you are trying to conceive or pregnant, and I am still trying to make up for all that missed sushi.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-90441625523348093492008-10-07T20:31:00.000-07:002008-10-07T20:38:55.431-07:00In-law VisitI apologize for posting so little lately. We have been preparing for the visit of the in-laws, who haven't been here for three years. They arrived today. I am happy to say that, five months after we moved in, our house is finally ready for people. We have been buying a lot of lamps and rugs and pictures, and now we have interesting walls and the sound doesn't echo off the hard wood floors. It's amazing how long it has taken us to get the house in shape! But now I am pretty happy with it.<br /><br />For A's 40th birthday, we are going on a cruise to Mexico with his parents and my parents, and his brother's family. Altogether, we will be 11 people. I am most looking forward to playing with the kids. The 7-year old and 4-year-old will love the pool on the ship!Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-28393260271640206392008-09-29T12:16:00.000-07:002008-09-29T12:22:06.645-07:00Triathlon resultsI did much better at the triathlon than I expected- 269 out of 774, and I cut 50 minutes off my previous time on a similar-distance triathlon.<br />This motivates me to start training for a traditional-distance triathlon! The bike and run portions are about double the length, but the swimming (the hardest part for me) is quadruple. Still, a worthwhile goal.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-19201045574605033932008-09-26T12:53:00.000-07:002008-09-26T13:00:10.262-07:00TriathlonI am doing a sprint triathlon this weekend. I did one three years ago, and registered just before we started trying to conceive. I remember I was worried that I might not be able to do the triathlon if I became pregnant. Ha!<br /><br />I have done a little bit of training for this race, so I am hoping to improve my time by 20 minutes compared to the last race. I also have a better bike, don't have to take time to remove a wetsuit because I won't be wearing one, and am prepared for the panic I feel when I put my face in the cold green water. <br /><br />I know this is way beyond me, but wouldn't it be great to brag someday that I completed an ironman triathlon? Or even just a marathon - no drowning worries there.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-9161011703038986502008-08-06T11:32:00.000-07:002008-08-06T11:35:05.835-07:00I betrayed infertilesI think I betrayed Infertiles yesterday. Instead of owning up to being an infertile, I pretended that we don’t want children. When people ask the "when are you going to have a baby" question, denying any plan to have children comes so automatically that it is out of my mouth before I have a chance to rethink my response.<br /><br />Yesterday a former coworker asked when I was going to have children, and I said, “No children for me.” She responded by telling me that I am still young and have time. (I’m 37, but I suppose to an older person anyone under 50 seems young.)<br /><br />How do you respond to this question?<br /><br />Should I have taken her, “You’re young” as an invitation to give out more information? Something like, “Since I haven’t been able to get pregnant after three years of trying, it is unlikely to happen in the next three years.” But then again, this was just a passing conversation at work, so perhaps I should treat it as the superficial conversation that it was and not delve into any personal details.<br /><br />On one hand, mentioning infertility to someone who never had a problem is inviting pity and useless advice. But on the other hand, not mentioning it keeps people from becoming aware of how common a problem it is. <br /><br />As a side note, two women recently told me that they were “childless by choice.” (Neither of these women had any idea of my situation.) I had always assumed that if you told someone you were childless, that the assumption was that it was by choice. Am I completely wrong on this? Why did they have to mention "by choice"? If you choose to stop infertility treatments, then are you "childless by choice" too?Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-58215987079647962102008-08-04T12:13:00.001-07:002008-08-04T12:16:40.306-07:00Positive thoughtsI need to keep reminding myself to think positively and to believe in myself. I suppose we can all use that.<br /><br />I saw a great quote on a greeting card this weekend, "What would you do if you knew that you would not fail?"Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-35045860372044164632008-07-28T12:11:00.000-07:002008-07-28T16:07:17.973-07:00JealousyI am so ashamed of the way I am feeling, but I can't control it.<br /><br />Last weekend I saw my cousin and her three-month old baby, and it didn't bother me at all, so I thought I was getting a handle on my emotions. I even thought about trying to restore my karma by making a baby quilt for someone else on the sewing machine that I originally bought to make a quilt for my own baby. <br /><br />However, this weekend I saw a friend who is five months pregnant. I tried to avoid her at the party, but she kept standing at the doorway overlooking the backyard in a tight dress and rubbing her belly, which she has every right to do.<br /><br />I thought I was okay with never being pregnant, and even feel fortunate not to be tied down with a child and have responsibility for all that brings. But why has this depressed me so much? Am I just jealous because she has something I can't have- even though I don't think I want it anymore?Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-31656098359830404142008-07-23T20:08:00.000-07:002008-07-25T12:12:58.088-07:00AlumniEducation in California must really be getting squeezed!<br /><br />The public California university that I DROPPED OUT OF called me to ask for a donation. (I guess technically I am an alum, even if I didn't graduate.) I have dreamed for years that they would call me, and I looked forward to telling them how much I hated their school. But they never called, and I mellowed with time.<br /><br />This year they called! I didn't have the heart to chew out the poor student who had the misfortune to have this job. (When I was there, it was the worst job on campus but the best-paying.) Although he was completely stuck for a reply since I forced him to stray from his script, and he suggested I donate even after I told him I hated that school, he finally accepted when I said I would donate money to the school where I graduated instead.<br /><br />They called me again tonight to tell me about the improvements on campus, including the new Grateful Dead archive. If they are so desperate that they are calling dropouts, they really do need the money, and I did learn a lot there, even if most of it wasn't in class.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-46432372477280118342008-07-14T12:20:00.001-07:002008-07-14T12:41:28.107-07:00Birth ControlI haven’t been keeping track of my cycles, but I usually have a vague idea of when my period will start. Last Sunday, I suddenly went from very happy to very unhappy in the space of a few minutes for no good reason, and this is always a sign that my period will start in exactly four days. However, when my period didn’t start as expected, I began to wonder just how long it had been since my last cycle, and could I possibly be pregnant? This did not excite me. I have wondered that many, many times during the past several years, and I never have been pregnant. I successfully resisted the urge to calculate the due date. <br /><br />Was this lack of excitement because I have been let down too many times, or because I finally got my life together and moved on?<br /><br />I finally remembered the white pants that I was wearing the day my last period began, and realized that I still have one week to go.<br /><br />I really enjoyed this entry from The Road Less Travelled about living childless and the birth control question: <a href="http://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2008/07/unspoken-question-about-childlessfree.html">The Unspoken Question About Childfree Living</a>Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-63110494951359040172008-07-11T12:46:00.000-07:002008-07-11T12:47:35.285-07:00How many do you want?When I read other IF blogs, all the women seem so desperate for their first (and only?) child. When we first started trying, I too looked forward to having a child. After surgery and multiple IUIs, I looked forward to having twins or triplets and I would have been disappointed with a singleton.<br />The emotional stress of fertility treatment was so high that I knew I could never go through it a second time. I also had to assume that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant naturally for a second child, since I couldn’t do it for the first. And since I think it would be lonely to be an only child, the only chance my to-be-conceived child would have for a brother or a sister would be to have a twin.<br />I know that multiples have lots of health problems, but that didn’t change the way I felt. <br />I was actually happier having zero children than having just one.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-66055166568641408692008-07-07T12:48:00.001-07:002008-07-07T13:09:38.667-07:004th of July weekendSince I started getting more exercise (biking to and from work) and running occasionally, I feel so fantastic emotionally! My body is a little sore and tired, but I expect to get used to that. The Tour de France going on now is an additional inspiration.<br /><br />This long weekend was great, I got so much done! But last night A was complaining about how sore his body was after so much standing up. (He usually sits in front of a computer 60 hours per week.) We were able to not only see my family, but get a lot of house projects finished up- like suspending the tomato plants from the eaves so they don't fall over and crush each other. <br /><br />4th of July is apricot-picking-time at my parents house. They have one tree, which had a light crop this year, but produced an enormous amount last year. We brought home enough apricots to make about two batches of jam (5 jars each) but ended up making only one batch and eating the rest. Since I was still in a jam-making mood, I bought a half box of strawberries at the farmer's market and made Strawberry-Marsala jam out of them, but we can't taste the Marsala at all. If you use pectin, it only takes about an hour to do the whole procedure, including sterilizing the jars. My next batch of jam will be pectin-free, which requires up to an hour of standing over a boiling pot of fruit until it gets thick.<br /><br />Thinking about apricots, and wanting to buy a tree for the former sandbox spot in our backyard, we decided to buy an apricot tree. This was also a nod to the heritage of our area, which is full of housing developments like "the greenhouses" and "cherry orchard," describing what was destroyed to build the new houses. Our neighborhood used to be an apricot orchard. When we brought home this new tree, we decided it made more sense to put it in the place where the living Christmas tree was. So we pulled out the Christmas tree with its pot, which was also buried, and then dug another hole, one foot away, for the apricot tree, in a better location. No shorcuts for us, even though we are renters and will most likely never harvest any fruit from this tree! Although, if we had known how hard the earth would be, we may have found it in our hearts to compromise on location.<br /><br />Next project is to buy an evergreen to put in the sandbox area- perhaps an avocado tree.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-8951569397740250802008-07-02T17:50:00.000-07:002008-07-02T18:06:49.648-07:00MiscellaniaI owe you a new post, but things have been going pretty well lately, so I haven't felt the need to write.<br /><br />I took a half day off work today to be home while they installed new carpet and linoleum. Despite all the noise, it was great to be home and finish the balloon curtain project that I started when I couldn't find anything I liked at IKEA. I can't hang it up until the adhesive on the velcro sets, but no matter what, it will look better than just tacking fabric over to the window, which was A's suggestion. (He can't sleep with ANY light in the room.)<br /><br />A few months ago, in an attempt to increase our consumption of vegetables, I signed up for organic vegetable delivery. We only receive the deliveries every two weeks, but because we eat out so often on the weekends and I am so tired during the week, it has been difficult to use up all the produce- especially the unusual items that I don’t know how to cook- things like kale, parsnips and radishes. And just how often can you eat artichokes? It actually becomes a bit stressful looking at all the floppy parsnips and wilted lettuce in the fridge. But this week, I used up nearly everything in one week (yeah!) and now we can go to the farmer’s market on Sunday and buy some more.<br /><br />Last week a friend who doesn't see me very often commented that he thought I had lost weight. The scale says that isn't true. Nevertheless, his comment has been quite the motivator to keep me bicycling to work. Maybe the scale is wrong- after all, it's probably an IKEA original.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-52961231730037634782008-06-25T12:30:00.001-07:002008-06-25T12:37:44.448-07:00ParentsA. commented the other day on how parents will go to great lengths to spend time with their adult children. It's not that their children don't love them- just that they have busy lives and don't devote much to their parents. But it is sort of like unrequited love anyway- you can google a person, look at photographs of them, call them, but it is nothing in comparison to actually being with them. It must be so painful for the parents! My mom admitted that she calls me sometimes just to hear my voice on the answering machine. A's parents live thousands of miles away and only see him once or twice a year.<br />One good thing about not having children is that you won't have to go through this with your own adult children someday.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-84122997868905402642008-06-17T11:58:00.000-07:002008-06-17T12:07:32.577-07:00The purpose of lifeWhat is the purpose of life?<br /><br />If you have children, then you do everything you can to give them a good life, and they become your purpose. But if you don't have children, what is your purpose? To work?<br /><br />I would love to be the kind of person who can do things to help others, but I feel so useless! A useless liberal arts degree, no focus in life, no career, a hundred skills but nothing to tie them together. <br /><br />I'm not really that bad off. I'm sure lots of people have jobs that don't use their intellect and don't challenge them. At least I get paid well! So what I should do is just resign myself to staying here for 20 years, until I retire, and not think about whether I enjoy it or not.<br /><br />My short-term purpose is to get fit enough to make all the pregnant women jealous, but I'm not making much progress on that front.<br /><br />Did it ever occur to you that having children might be a trap? Everyone encourages you to do it, but they (the people who encourage you) don't seem to enjoy it that much! Are they just encouraging others to make the same mistake that they made?Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-41342352449446053772008-06-14T17:46:00.000-07:002008-06-14T18:03:56.382-07:00Blogging as TherapyThis morning I read an interesting post about why <a href="http://lifefromhere.wordpress.com/2008/06/13/6-months-and-101-posts/">Life From Here</a> started blogging about her infertility and miscarriage. What struck me was that she described herself as keeping the pain to herself, and how blogging helped her to connect with others. <br /><br />She also links to two articles about <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/07/blog.therapy/">blogging as group therapy</a> and a second article about <a href="http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=the-healthy-type">the positive effects of blogging</a>.<br /><br />I get even more out of reading other people's blogs than from writing my own, but the reason I used the word "secrets" in my blog title is because I do usually keep my feelings to myself. Even if I wanted to talk about my problems, I couldn't do it because I would become overly emotional. It is much easier to write instead. And the reader can always close the page so I know I'm not forcing my ideas on you.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-24646910271413383672008-06-13T12:36:00.000-07:002008-06-13T13:15:26.946-07:00ProcrastinationI was listening yesterday to a <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91432804">radio show on Procrastination</a> and realized that this is the reason I have made so little progress in my job search. Actually, it also describes why I often feel that I make so little progress in general. (I didn't listen to the whole show, only about 20 minutes of it while I drove downtown at lunchtime, looked in vain for parking, gave up and drove back to work, where I sat at my desk and surfed the internet for the rest of the hour.) <br /><br />During the show, a caller phoned in who said that every time she sits down to work on her thesis, she feels the urgent need to clean the house. Whenever I get home from work, determined to apply to at least one job today, I always make it a priority to water the plants. (It's hot outside, I don't want them to suffer, you know?) By the end of the evening, I have practiced violin, run a load of laundry, taken out the trash, emptied the dishwasher and cooked dinner. But I haven't applied to any jobs.<br /><br />I am procrastinating because I am afraid of failure. I have been at this job so long that I don't know what it is like to work for a different boss, in a different setting. If I "sell" myself and my skills well, I may end up in a job for which I am not qualified, and fail! But if I don't sell myself, I will end up in a job that bores me instead of challenging me.<br /><br />Is list writing just another form of procrastination? I waste time writing the list, and I derive satisfaction from crossing items off the list, but I have never ever accomplished everything on the list. Instead, I transfer the unfinished items to a new list or sometimes just admit that certain things will never get done and I throw the list away. I even write "shave legs" on the list sometimes(!) but that usually gets done within a few days.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-91813832891731375192008-06-12T12:58:00.000-07:002008-06-14T17:46:50.232-07:00Good things come out of badFor the last two years, I have been commuting to work by bike and train- riding to the station, taking my bike on the train, and then riding to work.<br /><br />Last week, Cal.Tr.ain suddenly changed the type of train on my morning schedule. So now, instead of a train that holds 32+ bicycles, we have one that holds only 16. We bicyclists only learned of this when the train pulled up and the conductor said that none of us would be allowed on because the bike car was already full.<br /><br />In February, they made the same change to the train that I take home, and at that time I started riding all the way home instead of taking the train.<br /><br />I tried complaining to Ca.lTr.ain, as I have done before, but they always respond that they can't do anything about it. In reality, I think they want to discourage bikes because we take so long to load and unload that we delay the whole train.<br /><br />However, since this change, I have begun riding to work, three days a week. Eight miles really isn't that far, and the ride is rather pleasant. Maybe I will finally lose some of the weight that I wanted to. Perhaps this will help decrease my stress too.<br /><br />***<br /><br />Yesterday I was reading the <a href="http://www.mattlogelin.com/archives/2008/04/13/what-happened/">tragic story of Liz</a>, who died one day after her baby was born. Life doesn't go as we plan, but we plug on anyway.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-46879323688856801852008-06-09T12:35:00.000-07:002008-06-09T23:11:27.801-07:00Follow upApparently I sounded really decided in my last posting. It isn’t really as simple as that.<br /><br />Since we aren’t considering adoption, if we are no longer trying it means that we will NEVER have children. That means I need to throw away my baby names (I always feared that choosing names was bad luck, but I couldn’t stop myself), accept the fact that I won’t ever teach my child how to swim, we won’t ever have a bilingual household, and our nieces and nephews won’t have any cousins. I also need to stop wondering, when I pass teenagers on the street, if that is what my child will look like some day. I also have always had some misgivings about bringing a child into a world full of pollution, war, greed, bullies- at least I won’t have to worry about that anymore. Also on the plus side, I won’t have to change dirty diapers, listen to whining, discipline a teenager or pay for college. <br /><br />Also, I need to start using birth control again. A waste of money because obviously I don’t need it! But as long I’m not actively preventing conception, I will continue to have a little bit of hope that it will someday happen, and that hope prevents me from moving on. I am sure A. is still hoping and part of the reason he agreed to “stop trying” (whatever that means to him) is because he knows that I am so tired of the process and because I am the one who has to do nearly all the work, so if I’m not willing to continue, then we shouldn’t.<br /><br />P.S. Perhaps I need to clarify- hope is usually good. But getting your hopes dashed month after month is depressing. So what I need to do is to stop hoping to get pregnant and instead hope for something else- like happiness.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-26733569598363457322008-06-03T12:59:00.000-07:002008-06-03T14:30:36.713-07:00To resume or not to resumeI had a dilemma. When we initially stopped medical intervention in October 2007, I begged for a six-month break, with the idea that we would resume or consider resuming in six months. I hoped that I could find a new job and get settled in during those six months, and that then I would feel positive enough to be willing to pursue treatment again. However, those six months have come and gone, and I still am at the same job, and I still don't want to pursue any more treatment.<br /><br />A and I talked about the negatives of having children, and our reasons for wanting to have them, and we both agreed that having children isn't worth the steps that we will have to go through to get them. Although it is possible that we will change our minds in six months or a year, at this point it looks like we are finished.<br /><br />Now I feel like I can finally (for the first time in three years) make plans that don't take into account medical treatment timing, costs or possible pregnancy. (In other words, I can go on vacation whenever I want, change my job without worrying about becoming pregnant right after I start, go scuba diving if I feel like it, and drink wine with dinner every night if I wish.) This has the potential to be wonderfully freeing, but it is hard to completely change my mind set after so long!Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-51414860059496543212008-05-29T20:01:00.000-07:002008-05-30T12:56:58.224-07:00Test resultsI did finally receive my test results from the doctor. My TSH level is 2.91, which is quite a bit higher than the 2.03 I had 14 months ago, but still under 3.0 and therefore within everyone's definition of normal. I still think I do have a lot of symptoms that point to a thyroid deficiency. Maybe in another 14 months my level will be high enough that the doctors will think so to.<br /><br />I looked at the possibility of wasting some more money on a non-traditional doctor, but then I realized I already know what they will say:<br />Stop eating wheat<br />Replace all your metal fillings<br />Avoid (insert food name here)<br /><br />Unless I am willing to make sacrifices, going to see a naturopathic doctor is just another waste of money.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-67413093708516218642008-05-28T22:10:00.000-07:002008-05-28T22:25:52.857-07:00Better not let me babysitOur neighbor moved out six weeks ago and left us as caretakers of her 19-year-old cat and free-ranging white bunny. Since she was moving to a rural area, she thought it would be unsafe for them (eagles, coyotes, raccoons, etc.)<br />Five days ago the cat died in her sleep, and today Luna was killed by a car. A woman down the street came home and saw the rabbit's white body in the middle of the street. Everytime we come home, for years, we have been afraid of seeing a white spot on the street. We don't know how long she had been in the street, but we are hoping that she didn't suffer. She was already dead when the neighbor got to her.<br />Luna was well-known in the entire neighborhood. Children would look for her on the way to the park, and people would feed her carrots. She recognized people and would often hop over to people that she knew so they could pet her. She loved sitting on top of the mound in the neighbor's yard and watching everything going on around her. Although she would have lived a longer life in a cage, she wouldn't have been as happy. She roamed freely in our neighborhood for over two years, and enriched the lives of everyone who knew her. She is missed.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-819724267045769685.post-49091699024468121362008-05-23T21:05:00.001-07:002008-05-23T21:07:50.413-07:00Coming to Terms<a href="http://sharah.wordpress.com/2008/05/05/almost-8-months-out/">Sharah</a> wrote the most fabulous post about coming to terms with childlessness, and I am linking to it here so other people will read it, but also so I can reread it later.Trinkahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928582349689352633noreply@blogger.com2