I apologize for posting so little lately. We have been preparing for the visit of the in-laws, who haven't been here for three years. They arrived today. I am happy to say that, five months after we moved in, our house is finally ready for people. We have been buying a lot of lamps and rugs and pictures, and now we have interesting walls and the sound doesn't echo off the hard wood floors. It's amazing how long it has taken us to get the house in shape! But now I am pretty happy with it.
For A's 40th birthday, we are going on a cruise to Mexico with his parents and my parents, and his brother's family. Altogether, we will be 11 people. I am most looking forward to playing with the kids. The 7-year old and 4-year-old will love the pool on the ship!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Triathlon results
I did much better at the triathlon than I expected- 269 out of 774, and I cut 50 minutes off my previous time on a similar-distance triathlon.
This motivates me to start training for a traditional-distance triathlon! The bike and run portions are about double the length, but the swimming (the hardest part for me) is quadruple. Still, a worthwhile goal.
This motivates me to start training for a traditional-distance triathlon! The bike and run portions are about double the length, but the swimming (the hardest part for me) is quadruple. Still, a worthwhile goal.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Triathlon
I am doing a sprint triathlon this weekend. I did one three years ago, and registered just before we started trying to conceive. I remember I was worried that I might not be able to do the triathlon if I became pregnant. Ha!
I have done a little bit of training for this race, so I am hoping to improve my time by 20 minutes compared to the last race. I also have a better bike, don't have to take time to remove a wetsuit because I won't be wearing one, and am prepared for the panic I feel when I put my face in the cold green water.
I know this is way beyond me, but wouldn't it be great to brag someday that I completed an ironman triathlon? Or even just a marathon - no drowning worries there.
I have done a little bit of training for this race, so I am hoping to improve my time by 20 minutes compared to the last race. I also have a better bike, don't have to take time to remove a wetsuit because I won't be wearing one, and am prepared for the panic I feel when I put my face in the cold green water.
I know this is way beyond me, but wouldn't it be great to brag someday that I completed an ironman triathlon? Or even just a marathon - no drowning worries there.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I betrayed infertiles
I think I betrayed Infertiles yesterday. Instead of owning up to being an infertile, I pretended that we don’t want children. When people ask the "when are you going to have a baby" question, denying any plan to have children comes so automatically that it is out of my mouth before I have a chance to rethink my response.
Yesterday a former coworker asked when I was going to have children, and I said, “No children for me.” She responded by telling me that I am still young and have time. (I’m 37, but I suppose to an older person anyone under 50 seems young.)
How do you respond to this question?
Should I have taken her, “You’re young” as an invitation to give out more information? Something like, “Since I haven’t been able to get pregnant after three years of trying, it is unlikely to happen in the next three years.” But then again, this was just a passing conversation at work, so perhaps I should treat it as the superficial conversation that it was and not delve into any personal details.
On one hand, mentioning infertility to someone who never had a problem is inviting pity and useless advice. But on the other hand, not mentioning it keeps people from becoming aware of how common a problem it is.
As a side note, two women recently told me that they were “childless by choice.” (Neither of these women had any idea of my situation.) I had always assumed that if you told someone you were childless, that the assumption was that it was by choice. Am I completely wrong on this? Why did they have to mention "by choice"? If you choose to stop infertility treatments, then are you "childless by choice" too?
Yesterday a former coworker asked when I was going to have children, and I said, “No children for me.” She responded by telling me that I am still young and have time. (I’m 37, but I suppose to an older person anyone under 50 seems young.)
How do you respond to this question?
Should I have taken her, “You’re young” as an invitation to give out more information? Something like, “Since I haven’t been able to get pregnant after three years of trying, it is unlikely to happen in the next three years.” But then again, this was just a passing conversation at work, so perhaps I should treat it as the superficial conversation that it was and not delve into any personal details.
On one hand, mentioning infertility to someone who never had a problem is inviting pity and useless advice. But on the other hand, not mentioning it keeps people from becoming aware of how common a problem it is.
As a side note, two women recently told me that they were “childless by choice.” (Neither of these women had any idea of my situation.) I had always assumed that if you told someone you were childless, that the assumption was that it was by choice. Am I completely wrong on this? Why did they have to mention "by choice"? If you choose to stop infertility treatments, then are you "childless by choice" too?
Monday, August 4, 2008
Positive thoughts
I need to keep reminding myself to think positively and to believe in myself. I suppose we can all use that.
I saw a great quote on a greeting card this weekend, "What would you do if you knew that you would not fail?"
I saw a great quote on a greeting card this weekend, "What would you do if you knew that you would not fail?"
Monday, July 28, 2008
Jealousy
I am so ashamed of the way I am feeling, but I can't control it.
Last weekend I saw my cousin and her three-month old baby, and it didn't bother me at all, so I thought I was getting a handle on my emotions. I even thought about trying to restore my karma by making a baby quilt for someone else on the sewing machine that I originally bought to make a quilt for my own baby.
However, this weekend I saw a friend who is five months pregnant. I tried to avoid her at the party, but she kept standing at the doorway overlooking the backyard in a tight dress and rubbing her belly, which she has every right to do.
I thought I was okay with never being pregnant, and even feel fortunate not to be tied down with a child and have responsibility for all that brings. But why has this depressed me so much? Am I just jealous because she has something I can't have- even though I don't think I want it anymore?
Last weekend I saw my cousin and her three-month old baby, and it didn't bother me at all, so I thought I was getting a handle on my emotions. I even thought about trying to restore my karma by making a baby quilt for someone else on the sewing machine that I originally bought to make a quilt for my own baby.
However, this weekend I saw a friend who is five months pregnant. I tried to avoid her at the party, but she kept standing at the doorway overlooking the backyard in a tight dress and rubbing her belly, which she has every right to do.
I thought I was okay with never being pregnant, and even feel fortunate not to be tied down with a child and have responsibility for all that brings. But why has this depressed me so much? Am I just jealous because she has something I can't have- even though I don't think I want it anymore?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Alumni
Education in California must really be getting squeezed!
The public California university that I DROPPED OUT OF called me to ask for a donation. (I guess technically I am an alum, even if I didn't graduate.) I have dreamed for years that they would call me, and I looked forward to telling them how much I hated their school. But they never called, and I mellowed with time.
This year they called! I didn't have the heart to chew out the poor student who had the misfortune to have this job. (When I was there, it was the worst job on campus but the best-paying.) Although he was completely stuck for a reply since I forced him to stray from his script, and he suggested I donate even after I told him I hated that school, he finally accepted when I said I would donate money to the school where I graduated instead.
They called me again tonight to tell me about the improvements on campus, including the new Grateful Dead archive. If they are so desperate that they are calling dropouts, they really do need the money, and I did learn a lot there, even if most of it wasn't in class.
The public California university that I DROPPED OUT OF called me to ask for a donation. (I guess technically I am an alum, even if I didn't graduate.) I have dreamed for years that they would call me, and I looked forward to telling them how much I hated their school. But they never called, and I mellowed with time.
This year they called! I didn't have the heart to chew out the poor student who had the misfortune to have this job. (When I was there, it was the worst job on campus but the best-paying.) Although he was completely stuck for a reply since I forced him to stray from his script, and he suggested I donate even after I told him I hated that school, he finally accepted when I said I would donate money to the school where I graduated instead.
They called me again tonight to tell me about the improvements on campus, including the new Grateful Dead archive. If they are so desperate that they are calling dropouts, they really do need the money, and I did learn a lot there, even if most of it wasn't in class.
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