I wouldn't blame anyone for wondering if I am really looking for a job. I have been complaining about work for so long, and haven't really done anything about it, in large part because of infertility. I thought it would be most convenient to stay in my present position, have the baby, then find another job while I was on maternity leave. But of course the baby part of the equation never fell into place. So, here I am three years later, no child and still in the same job.
One good thing about staying in my present job is that I have accumulated over 300 hours of sick leave, so it was no problem when the nurse practitioner wanted me to come in five times in a single week for IUIs and ultrasounds. That would definitely have been a problem in a new position, with no sick leave accumulated, or with a boss who didn't know you well.
Looking for a job is really depressing. I hardly hear back from any of the positions I apply to, so after a while I start to think of myself as a clod of dirt, with no worthwhile talents, or at least none of the talents that I wish I had.
Once I have been settled in a new job for a few months, my attitude should improve and then I might be willing to pursue IVF or even more IUIs.
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"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." -John Lennon
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- Trinka
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3 comments:
Hey Trinks, I once thought of myself as a "clod of dirt" however I think expressed it more in terms of "a pile of crap." Funny thing though, I realised that a pile of crap can actually be very benificial and useful for making things grow. So perhaps in some way I still think of myself, so to speak, as a pile of crap, but I find that thought to be comforting. In my weak efforts however small and crappy they may be, still in the mystery of it all good can and does comes from them. :)
Love ya,
Hoper
HI, Just saw you listed as new in the lost and found. I too have endo - so if you want to come over we can commiserate together.
Oh and I did that I will find another job once I get knocked up thing too, and of course, i didn't get pregnant, but, i quit my job.
having been in an old and hated job trying to conceive my first, I will say that the situation lent its own problems to the whole TTC/pregnancy bit. Because the unhappiness just bled on over to TTC and then pregnancy, and especially in pregnancy it was so painful for me, and it just seemed to magnify as a result of a hated job.
Now I am in a new job and I am TTC #2, the lack of sick leave/flexibility is somewhat constraining but also it's so freeing to be in a positive work situation. Myself I chose a job I didn't love with all my heart (pleasant but not fabulous), and believe it or not that makes it easier for me - I can leave for doc appointments and not feel awful about things. It's just a job, but one that's not killing me.
Whoa. Sorry I took up so much space.
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