It’s really ideal if you can tell someone that you are having trouble conceiving. My sister has a large group of friends, but none of them ever ask us when we plan to have children. I think it’s because they asked her first.
We didn’t tell my parents-in-law, but we did tell my brother-in-law, who told his wife, who told her father (a retired gynecologist) and I think the word got around to my husband’s parents because they never ask anymore.
My aunts don’t ask either.
We do receive the occasional awkward question about next steps/progress, and they don’t always come at a time when I have the emotional strength to answer, but at least these questions usually come from people who are supportive.
I am glad that I didn’t tell people when we initially started trying. It is less painful to start from a point where they already know you are having problems than to have them asking you for status when you are dealing with infertility for the first time yourself.
We were trying for nine months before I started telling anyone that we were having problems, but even that was a little too early.
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